1 week later

Been back in Fort Collins for a week now, and it has definitely been one of the longest weeks of my life. Still reeling from my time in Czech, saying goodbye there and adjusting back to here, processing all that God did there and transitioning for the move to North Carolina for ministry in Wilmington. I have instant messaged with a few of the girls from camp. God gave me the opportunity to encourage one of the new believers who was stressed out about which type of high school she should pick...wow.

A little bit in limbo right now. People kept wishing us a safe trip "home." On the plane, I thought about home. Fort Collins is home because of my church family here, but SC has always been home-home. And yet, Czech felt like coming home. I also realized that I had in fact spent more time in Czech during the last year than I have at home in SC... craziness, fakt yo.

Last night was my last youth group, and it was a lot harder than I ever expected. We did play bucket ball and two other games from Czech, which was loads of fun. Bucket ball was Czech-style... meaning it was in the mud and rain :)

Up until last night it had not sunk in at all that I was leaving. Church last weekend was completely surreal. We talked about Czech and there was so much joy in that and being with my team again. Then concert of prayer as they prayed for me, still nothing. Then my youth, my girls... they were the struggle with leaving to start with and now that I am doing it... I know I am supposed to go, but it pains me to leave them. The leaders, the ones I have served alongside for a year. They have blessed me so much this year, and their send off was no exception...I still have not been able to cry, but there is an ever present ache in my heart. Goodbyes are never easy, but this has been 2 straight weeks of it, and I don't know how much more I can handle... where we are weak, He is strong.

This song has been on my heart since March and is what I would like to leave with:

"Dedication" by the O.C. Supertones

Side by side
Driving the same highway
Leaving behind everything
And everyone you love
The cost to pay
To tell the world of Jesus
Hoping that these bridges burned
Will not be just in vain
It helps to think that somewhere
You're feeling just the same

And don't take even
A moment for granted
Don't lose heart
When the world crashes down

How many miles ahead?
I can't count the ones behind
To all the friends that we've collected
All the people we respect
For the hope and joy
We made this up and wrote it down
And dedicate this song to you

No turning back
And can't say that I regret it
When every day
God's promises testify themselves
Sometimes it's hard
And the road keeps stretching longer
Tonight my wife's a longing voice
On a holiday inn phone

How many miles ahead?
I can't count the ones behind
I wish you God's speed, friend
You're always on my mind
Will you remember me, say
Seven years from now?
And where will we be then?
Well, I'm here for you now


And finally a flashback to when I left Gilbert 4 years ago:

Packing my bags this morning Was the hardest thing to do But packing my bags was so easy Compared to standing outside your door right now to say goodbye to you

Think of me I know you've never seen me cry Think of me But it's so hard to say goodbye Think of me What can I say to show you I'll never give up on you I will be waiting for you
I will be there when you call I will see you through it all And even in your darkest hour I pray that the Lord we found Will set you on solid ground
I know that is feels like leaving Is a part of letting go But I'm praying with hope and believing That I'll see you once again down this road I hope that it won't be long
Think of me I know God brought you as a friend Think of me I know He'll bring you back again Think of me What can I say to show you I'll never give up on you I will be waiting for you


I love all of you!!!!!!!!! I will miss you tons and tons, but trusting that I will see you again "one day soon"
Or, in the words of Charlton, "I'll see you when I see you, if I don't see you, know what I mean... :)"