"What I was made for"

Here we are 10 days out :D I have had some amazingly encouraging conversations over the past week and am so excited for spring break! It has seemed so distant, and I've almost felt like other people were more excited about than me at times :) Today though, as my mind drifted off from studying for our next exam tomorrow, I began to think about my time in Nicaragua and what I actually get to do for a week in the middle of this semester. Today was the first time I have thought about it without also thinking about all the details, the logistics, what I need to do to prepare, how much support we have... and something inside of me just delighted :) To use this stuff I've been learning that seems to pointless some days to point people to Christ. WHAT?! YES!!!!! That's what it's about. I don't even know what to say, it's just so amazing to me right now! So simple and incredible.
Over the past year, amidst serving in the church, working, school, etc., God has blessed me with moments, moments where I have seen Him working so clearly, I have seen His love and purpose at work so clearly through me and in others that I am moved to tears (and I'm not one usually moved to tears). I have looked back on each of these instances that have resonated with me so deeply, and my only response has been..."this... this is what I was made for."
I was reminded in conversation last week of this calling, this reason for living. Today was a "this is what I was made for" moment as I pondered spring break, and it makes the next few weeks seem like nothing because it's all for a greater purpose, something so much bigger than me, my grades, my comforts, etc. But for Christ and His Name to be proclaimed, worshipped, praised. So amidst school, amidst the absolute chaos that is the next week and a half, amidst the stress of graduate level coursework (especially exams you don't know about :), amidst it all... it's worth it for those moments, those indescribable, exciting, nothing-else-matters times of being faithful and obedient when you feel you're in the desert and seeing God show up and move, knowing it's nothing I can boast about but only to be in awe that God allowed me to be apart of it. That's why I am here.
Acts 20:24
And for the detail people :) I haven't received final numbers on support stuff yet. We still haven't gotten together as a team of students from UF, but God is good and faithful, so here we go :)

t-minus 2 1/2 weeks

So, we are 2 1/2 weeks out from Nicaragua. I have so much to accomplish in the next 2 1/2 weeks, it is somewhat overwhelming, but I am so incredibly excited for what God has in store during this week. I have no idea what to expect, which is absolutely terrifying, but thrilling :)
I have had several ups and downs over the past few weeks, many "freak out" times where I had no idea why I was doing this and contemplated backing out, only to be comforted by the fact that where we are so unbelievably weak, God is more than strong, and our becoming less only allows Him to become more... and knowing that and submitting and trusting is the only way anything will become of this week we have. I was encouraged even today by God's faithfulness, seeing things He has been orchestrating and bringing about with perfect timing in my life.
2 Corinthians 4:7-10 ~ But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that hte life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
I do not think I have ever understood this passage as God has revealed it to me these past few weeks. Yes, there's the potter and the clay analogy with the pots, but we are made as fragile, breakable, dirty, clay pots so God gets the glory, so that though all of those "bad" things happen to us, we are made alive in Christ. And, God chose to place His most precious gift, the gift of salvation inside of us, frail little pots. WHAT?!? Mind blowing!! It's a little like putting your life savings in a paper thin china piggy bank and then setting it in the middle of Times Square. Why?? Paul writes in Romans that in all of these things we are more than conquerors, and as children of God, heirs to both His suffering and His glory, we have life and nothing can separate us from that. So, not only are we fragile clay pots, we are fortified by the all surpassing power of Christ. He loves us... that's why, and we are most satisfied in Him as we become less and He, in His perfect power, becomes more. So, during these weeks when my pot is teetering on the edge, I find comfort in that and pray God uses it to make Himself known, both here in Florida and in Nicaragua.

Please be praying for these next few weeks of preparation, for our last bit of support to come in, for unity and fellowship among our team, those of us coming from UF as well as with those from around the US, for safe travel for all 55 people going, for the hearts of each person we will interact with