Do you ever have those moments where you feel like God sets something up just for you. Usually it is something really small that no one else would even notice or think of, but deep in your heart, in the core of your being, you feel God move in love towards you.
This morning at Hope was like that for me. I love and treasure those moments so much, especially in the midst of recent life and emotional turmoil in which I have found myself.
A few weeks ago, I was reading through Matthew and came to Matthew 25:14-30 (included below). It's the parable of the talents, where the master entrusts his servants with money while he is away. When he comes back, he rewards those who have made more money and the one who buried the money, he casts into darkness.
I have heard this parable before and heard it taught on before in various contexts, but it always puzzles me and quite honestly, frightens me. What I saw in this parable seemed so out of sync with everything else I know about my Heavenly Father. I remember thinking, "God, I really don't get this."
And then the past few weeks happened. I have felt like such a failure in several aspects of life. I feel not good enough in relationships, unworthy to be loved, and like I have somehow missed some giant fork in the road and am forever lost and alone on the path of life.
So this morning, we had a guest speaker at church, Kris. The Spirit was moving as he came to his third and final point that came from this parable. He said this parable is not about money, but opportunities. My attention was grabbed as he said, "Many people read this parable and feel pressure that if you do not succeed, [God] will be mad at you." If I miss an opportunity, that's it - I'm cast away, gone down this path never to return. Someone else will pick up that opportunity, and I'm done. Yep, that pretty much sums up what I had taken away from this passage. But, that's not the case at all.
He went on to say, when the servant says he knows the master is a harsh man, the master does not confirm this. He says IF you thought this, you should have done this. But in a sense, he tells him, "I'm not like that at all!" Kris challenged us - do not doubt the love of the Father! When He gives and takes away, it is for our good benefit, even when we look back at Him and say "but it's my life, it's my ____." And every opportunity He gives us comes from an inexhaustible supply. If we are to squander it, the source is endless and He loves us and will continue to give and take as He sees fit. He shared a story of a college baseball player who suffered a C5 SCI in his first season. He struggled through rehab and his dad watched one day as he struggled to wheel himself across campus to class. The rest of the kids whirred past him on feet, skateboards, and bikes. The father looked at his son and thought, "I am so proud of him." In our deepest failure, even the smallest effort does not go unnoticed by God. In our brokenness, God sees. Like Hagar in the desert, El Roi - The God who sees me.
When you understand that, it frees you. You won't make the mistake of the 3rd servant because you understand who God is and your life as a new creation. There is no pressure! Yes, we will mess up, but God wants us to seize opportunities He gives because we know: He loves me, He sees me, and even in my darkest moments, little steps of faith do not go unnoticed by the God who sees, the God who provides, and the God who is with me.
So that's it. I love how a question I had weeks ago was directly answered, not only in explaining the parable in context for the sake of my confusion but also in God revealing more of Himself to me and loving me in a way that only made sense to me at this particular point in life.
Matthew 25:14-30 (ESV)
14 “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants[c] and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents,[d] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.[e] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Why is grace so hard to swallow?
It's been one of those days.
One of those days where everything you touch just seems to crumble. Where everything you do seems wrong in every way.
Stangely enough, in the past few weeks, I have had a couple of songs on repeat that just hammer the idea of grace. Then a good friend recommended a song to me that I listened to last night. I added it to my repeat list.
The first song: "Brokenness Aside" by All Sons and Daughters.
The lyrics go like this: I am a sinner, if it's not one thing it's another. Caught up in words, tangled in lies.
But You are the Savior and You take brokenness aside and make it beautiful, beautiful.
Song number 2, one that quickly ascended to the all time favorite list after I heard it earlier this year: "Oceans" by Hillsong
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
And then finally "Come to Me" by Jenn Johnson:
I am the Lord your God, I go before you now
I stand beside you, I’m all around you
Though you feel I’m far away, I’m closer than your breath
I am with you, more than you know
I am the Lord your peace, no evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind, come into My rest
Oh, let your faith arise, lift up your weary head
I am with you wherever you go
Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m everything
Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m your everything
I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you, I’m your faithful strength
I am with you wherever you go
Don’t look to the right or to the left but keep your eyes on Me
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved ooh
I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way
Just come to Me, come to Me, cause I’m all that you need
The past few weeks, I have been meditating a lot on Psalm 73, Isaiah 41:10, 13. We just named our youth group The Harbor and our vision with that is creating a safe space to equip, but also to anchor them to Christ for one they head out of the harbor (because ships aren't meant to stay in the harbor).
I am praying about going to Honduras as well as possibly a longer term trip to Kenya next summer. My first name (Leah) means "weary" in Hebrew. The past few weeks, I have been struggling a lot with things I have struggled with for a really long time, and each time I hit the bottom of the pit with these struggles, I am overcome with this feeling of weariness, exhaustion of fighting the same battles. When I listened to the lyrics of this last song, I was absolutely floored that so many of these ideas I have been dwelling on are touched on in this one song (I emphasized them). After all this, God gives me a song that speaks so intimately and specifically to me during this season. Wow.
So last night, I had a sweet time of meditating, sitting at the Lord's feet and renewing devotion and focus on Him, my first love and the one who knows me and meets me in such sweet and intimate ways.
And then today happened. I really dropped the ball with my attitude towards one of my patients. I am frustrated with some of the things coming from our corporate office at work. I came home and jumped the gun on a decision I knew I needed to wait on.
So, I kept myself busy and tried to process all of this failure. And all of this truth I have been dwelling on came rushing back. Even with all of this, this domino effect of one thing after another, God's grace is enough, it covers, and He loves me knowing all of my hang ups. He even makes it beautiful - in His infinite goodness and sovereignty, He uses it to refine me and make me more like Christ.
And I really didn't like it. Why is it so hard to swallow that? Why is grace such a tough concept? We want that kind of love and acceptance, but when it comes down to it, when we are at the bottom of ourselves with no where else to turn, it's so tough to accept something that comes completely unmerited and completely without strings. We can't pay Him back. It's tough to accept we need help that we ourselves cannot get for ourselves. We can't understand why He loves us so much when we find ourselves so un-loveable. After all of the chances He give us, surely this one was the last straw. And yet, He beckons me back "Come to Me, I'm all you need."
I am in awe this evening. As I was in the middle of writing this blog, I got an email - the staff was uber excited about our wilderness ministry idea. Seriously?? I was nervous all day it hadn't gone well, and God in his perfect timing had Seth forget until the perfect moment. I don't understand, and I am in awe of a God who orchestrates even the little things to make our day, and is weaving together my weaknesses to somehow work for good and ultimately bring glory to His holy, perfect name.
Wow. Thank you, my Jesus.
One of those days where everything you touch just seems to crumble. Where everything you do seems wrong in every way.
Stangely enough, in the past few weeks, I have had a couple of songs on repeat that just hammer the idea of grace. Then a good friend recommended a song to me that I listened to last night. I added it to my repeat list.
The first song: "Brokenness Aside" by All Sons and Daughters.
The lyrics go like this: I am a sinner, if it's not one thing it's another. Caught up in words, tangled in lies.
But You are the Savior and You take brokenness aside and make it beautiful, beautiful.
Song number 2, one that quickly ascended to the all time favorite list after I heard it earlier this year: "Oceans" by Hillsong
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
And then finally "Come to Me" by Jenn Johnson:
I am the Lord your God, I go before you now
I stand beside you, I’m all around you
Though you feel I’m far away, I’m closer than your breath
I am with you, more than you know
I am the Lord your peace, no evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind, come into My rest
Oh, let your faith arise, lift up your weary head
I am with you wherever you go
Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m everything
Come to Me, I’m all you need.
Come to Me, I’m your everything
I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you, I’m your faithful strength
I am with you wherever you go
Don’t look to the right or to the left but keep your eyes on Me
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved ooh
I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way
Just come to Me, come to Me, cause I’m all that you need
The past few weeks, I have been meditating a lot on Psalm 73, Isaiah 41:10, 13. We just named our youth group The Harbor and our vision with that is creating a safe space to equip, but also to anchor them to Christ for one they head out of the harbor (because ships aren't meant to stay in the harbor).
I am praying about going to Honduras as well as possibly a longer term trip to Kenya next summer. My first name (Leah) means "weary" in Hebrew. The past few weeks, I have been struggling a lot with things I have struggled with for a really long time, and each time I hit the bottom of the pit with these struggles, I am overcome with this feeling of weariness, exhaustion of fighting the same battles. When I listened to the lyrics of this last song, I was absolutely floored that so many of these ideas I have been dwelling on are touched on in this one song (I emphasized them). After all this, God gives me a song that speaks so intimately and specifically to me during this season. Wow.
So last night, I had a sweet time of meditating, sitting at the Lord's feet and renewing devotion and focus on Him, my first love and the one who knows me and meets me in such sweet and intimate ways.
And then today happened. I really dropped the ball with my attitude towards one of my patients. I am frustrated with some of the things coming from our corporate office at work. I came home and jumped the gun on a decision I knew I needed to wait on.
So, I kept myself busy and tried to process all of this failure. And all of this truth I have been dwelling on came rushing back. Even with all of this, this domino effect of one thing after another, God's grace is enough, it covers, and He loves me knowing all of my hang ups. He even makes it beautiful - in His infinite goodness and sovereignty, He uses it to refine me and make me more like Christ.
And I really didn't like it. Why is it so hard to swallow that? Why is grace such a tough concept? We want that kind of love and acceptance, but when it comes down to it, when we are at the bottom of ourselves with no where else to turn, it's so tough to accept something that comes completely unmerited and completely without strings. We can't pay Him back. It's tough to accept we need help that we ourselves cannot get for ourselves. We can't understand why He loves us so much when we find ourselves so un-loveable. After all of the chances He give us, surely this one was the last straw. And yet, He beckons me back "Come to Me, I'm all you need."
I am in awe this evening. As I was in the middle of writing this blog, I got an email - the staff was uber excited about our wilderness ministry idea. Seriously?? I was nervous all day it hadn't gone well, and God in his perfect timing had Seth forget until the perfect moment. I don't understand, and I am in awe of a God who orchestrates even the little things to make our day, and is weaving together my weaknesses to somehow work for good and ultimately bring glory to His holy, perfect name.
Wow. Thank you, my Jesus.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Remembering
I was reading through an journal from before I applied to PT school. Crazy how applicable it is now!
September 25th on a day trip to Greenville, NC to visit East Carolina University's PT Dept.
Fall has quickly set in, and with it comes a sense of nostalgia. As I drove down two lane roads between cottonfields and an occasional small town diner or bait shop, I couldn't help but feel at home and slightly homesick. Me, cruising by in my Jeep Grand Cherokee, sweater, slacks, and slipper shoes that couldn't withstand a puddle on the sidewalk, much less the muddy fields that whisked by my window. Despite all appearances, my heart yearned to pull over and run freely across the lush sea of grass and pine groves in some feable attempt to capture a piece of my childhood.
Arriving at ECUs DPT building, I get out of my car, ready to put my best foot forward and convince the world (and myself) that I can do anything, molding myself into the picture of business.
Just as I lock my door, I catch a glimpse of my reflection. I hardly recognize myself, and startled, I take a longer look. Where is that carefree little girl who dreamed big and truly believed anything is possible? Where is that free spirit that takes off across fields and leaps into lakes, rivers, and oceans with reckless abandon? A hardened, all business exterior gives just a tad, and I find her... a twinkle in my eye and then a joyful smile.
Amidst all the chaos, I can't lose track of who I am and who I want to be. I can't be what the world wants me to be, rather who God made me to be. That is why I am going to PT school... not for the lettes behind my name or to join in the rat race of getting ahead by impressing people and pushing a stone up a hill each day, but because that is where God is calling me, because I find joy in helping people like that, because I can use it internationally on missions, because living recklessly for the Kingdom is more fulfilling than anything this world can ever offer me, because I can stay joyfully childlike and not lose track of that twinkle in my eye.
September 25th on a day trip to Greenville, NC to visit East Carolina University's PT Dept.
Fall has quickly set in, and with it comes a sense of nostalgia. As I drove down two lane roads between cottonfields and an occasional small town diner or bait shop, I couldn't help but feel at home and slightly homesick. Me, cruising by in my Jeep Grand Cherokee, sweater, slacks, and slipper shoes that couldn't withstand a puddle on the sidewalk, much less the muddy fields that whisked by my window. Despite all appearances, my heart yearned to pull over and run freely across the lush sea of grass and pine groves in some feable attempt to capture a piece of my childhood.
Arriving at ECUs DPT building, I get out of my car, ready to put my best foot forward and convince the world (and myself) that I can do anything, molding myself into the picture of business.
Just as I lock my door, I catch a glimpse of my reflection. I hardly recognize myself, and startled, I take a longer look. Where is that carefree little girl who dreamed big and truly believed anything is possible? Where is that free spirit that takes off across fields and leaps into lakes, rivers, and oceans with reckless abandon? A hardened, all business exterior gives just a tad, and I find her... a twinkle in my eye and then a joyful smile.
Amidst all the chaos, I can't lose track of who I am and who I want to be. I can't be what the world wants me to be, rather who God made me to be. That is why I am going to PT school... not for the lettes behind my name or to join in the rat race of getting ahead by impressing people and pushing a stone up a hill each day, but because that is where God is calling me, because I find joy in helping people like that, because I can use it internationally on missions, because living recklessly for the Kingdom is more fulfilling than anything this world can ever offer me, because I can stay joyfully childlike and not lose track of that twinkle in my eye.
Friday, August 30, 2013
I never intended to be a physical therapist...and I still don't.
What a summer it has been.
My first summer "in the real world" I guess you could say. And boy have there been some curve balls! An unexpected trip to Colorado, youth ministry and many adventures in between. Passed my 1 year anniversary working with Anderson PT.
I never intended to be a physical therapist. And I still don't really intend to be defined as a physical therapist.
I'm still a little confused how I got here, but God has a funny way of doing that sometimes.
My best friend in Colorado challenged me to pray about doing wilderness ministry with our youth here in South Carolina. This has opened up doors and dreams, hopes that I dare not allow myself to think about without tearing up with joy. Right now I may have a chance to do wilderness ministry, taking our beloved teenagers out into the woods for a week to spend time in community away from technology marveling at God's creation and talking about Jesus. I was watching a movie tonight that panned a picture of the Canadian Rockies and I lost my breath. Later I was playing a random playlist and some old favorites came on, including one that included these lyrics that put into words the emotion I felt in that moment as well as when adventuring in the wilderness:
I see the eagle swim the canyon sea
Creation yawns in front of me
Oh Lord, I never felt so small
And I don't believe that I believed
In You as deeply as today
I reckon what I'm saying is
There's nothing more
Nothing more to say
And the mountains sing Your glory hallelujah
The canyons echo sweet amazing grace
My spirit sails
The mighty gales are bellowing
Your name
And I've got nothing to say
No, I've got nothing to say
Beyond that, there is a chance to go to Honduras on a short term mission trip, and then I am praying about a longer term trip to Tenwek in Kenya. After that, who knows! I would hope back to Anderson.
And I love my job, I really do. I love my co-workers. I have so enjoyed working with my patients and have been reminded especially this week of how amazing it is to be an instrument to help people get better. But I have grown restless. When I think of me years down the road working still at this clinic in this setting, that person seems like a stranger. I never intended to be a physical therapist. In the whirlwind that brought me to physical therapy school, I stepped out in faith with my goal to serve God and confident somehow that physical therapy was a vessel, a tool, a gift He could use to do that. It's hard to put into words. A career or profession often defines a person. Most of my classmates, their dream and goal in life was physical therapy. While I find it interesting and enjoy it, I feel like it is a very small part of who I am and my calling. Perhaps next summer will be the next step. Until then, I dare not move from where God has me until I fully learn what He has brought me here to learn. Though it has been refreshing that past few months for that hope and passion for the plans He has for me to be re-ignited.
So who knows, but "my spirit sails and I've got nothing left to say." :-)
My first summer "in the real world" I guess you could say. And boy have there been some curve balls! An unexpected trip to Colorado, youth ministry and many adventures in between. Passed my 1 year anniversary working with Anderson PT.
I never intended to be a physical therapist. And I still don't really intend to be defined as a physical therapist.
I'm still a little confused how I got here, but God has a funny way of doing that sometimes.
My best friend in Colorado challenged me to pray about doing wilderness ministry with our youth here in South Carolina. This has opened up doors and dreams, hopes that I dare not allow myself to think about without tearing up with joy. Right now I may have a chance to do wilderness ministry, taking our beloved teenagers out into the woods for a week to spend time in community away from technology marveling at God's creation and talking about Jesus. I was watching a movie tonight that panned a picture of the Canadian Rockies and I lost my breath. Later I was playing a random playlist and some old favorites came on, including one that included these lyrics that put into words the emotion I felt in that moment as well as when adventuring in the wilderness:
I see the eagle swim the canyon sea
Creation yawns in front of me
Oh Lord, I never felt so small
And I don't believe that I believed
In You as deeply as today
I reckon what I'm saying is
There's nothing more
Nothing more to say
And the mountains sing Your glory hallelujah
The canyons echo sweet amazing grace
My spirit sails
The mighty gales are bellowing
Your name
And I've got nothing to say
No, I've got nothing to say
Beyond that, there is a chance to go to Honduras on a short term mission trip, and then I am praying about a longer term trip to Tenwek in Kenya. After that, who knows! I would hope back to Anderson.
And I love my job, I really do. I love my co-workers. I have so enjoyed working with my patients and have been reminded especially this week of how amazing it is to be an instrument to help people get better. But I have grown restless. When I think of me years down the road working still at this clinic in this setting, that person seems like a stranger. I never intended to be a physical therapist. In the whirlwind that brought me to physical therapy school, I stepped out in faith with my goal to serve God and confident somehow that physical therapy was a vessel, a tool, a gift He could use to do that. It's hard to put into words. A career or profession often defines a person. Most of my classmates, their dream and goal in life was physical therapy. While I find it interesting and enjoy it, I feel like it is a very small part of who I am and my calling. Perhaps next summer will be the next step. Until then, I dare not move from where God has me until I fully learn what He has brought me here to learn. Though it has been refreshing that past few months for that hope and passion for the plans He has for me to be re-ignited.
So who knows, but "my spirit sails and I've got nothing left to say." :-)
Friday, January 4, 2013
What you do echoes in eternity.
It has been quite a while since I have written anything on here. But it struck me tonight as I laid in my bed unable to sleep that sometimes processing things can be more effective through speedily typing on a keyboard than writing in my journal or talking to someone. The thought processes zipping through my brain seemed a little more appropriate for here, so here goes.
Passion 2013 has been going on in Atlanta this week. I have caught as many sessions as I could through the live stream online. The first night, Louie Giglio, founder of the Passion movement, and Andy Stanley, founder of Northpoint Church in the Atlanta area, the 2nd largest church in America (I think), brought out on stage their youth director from middle and high school. This dear, faithful servant of the Lord is now almost 90 years old. She stands on the stage with a man who has inspired a generation for Jesus around the world and another man who has influence over and pastored one of the largest cities in the world, all because she was faithful. Those many years ago, she was simply faithful to use her gifts to disciple and encourage young people, in a stage of life most people just give up on. Can you even imagine the honor she feels that God used her simple act of faithfulness in such a profound way to impact thousands and thousands of people?? So encouraging and she had absolutely no idea at the time, and it's such a privilege she was even able to see that now!
Then, for years I have wanted to watch Schindler's List and have never gotten around to it. I got the DVD for Christmas, and after an awfully long week back at work, I settled down on my couch to watch it tonight. First off, WOW! Such an incredibly well done movie. So many things stuck out to me, but I will attempt to narrow them down. At the end of the movie, Oskar is presented with a ring forged by the Jews he saved that has etched in it "He who saves one life saves the world entire." This is profound in and of itself. But then, he completely breaks down sobbing that it wasn't enough. His car, his pin even, could have been another person. Earlier in the movie someone had asked, "What is a person worth to you?" So finally, after the heart and gut wrenching depiction of history, the screen fades from a shot of the over a thousand Jews he saved then to the ones who remain today. Approximately 1100 were saved, and their descendants now number over 6000. But we are numb to numbers, which is why as they showed the survivors, their faces, placing stones on Schindler's tombstone, I sobbed. The impact this one man had during arguably one of the bleakest periods of human history not only for those Jews but for generations to come. "He who saves one life saves the world entire."
To quote yet another cinematic epic (that I also have yet to see :), "What we do in life echoes in eternity." Christine Caine tweeted a few weeks ago that the only things in this world that are eternal are people's souls and the Word of God - invest in those things that are eternal. Pastor Tom always talked about our lives as a dot on the line of time, challenging, "Live for the line, not the dot." Live your life doing things that will echo into eternity, impacting generations to come and ultimately the Kingdom of Heaven.
Finally, I am reading a biography of Dr. Ernie Steury, a medical missionary to Kenya (Miracle at Tenwek). As he sits on the brink of his decision both to become a missionary and later a missionary doctor, he prays, "Lord, I don't know what you want me to do. But whatever you can do with my life, here it is!" I feel a little bit like Dr. Steury right now. Here I am, a physical therapist just out of school. For the first time since high school, life feels a bit like I'm standing still or just treading water. I am unsure of what the next step will be, but I do know that Dr. Steury's prayer is the same as my own, and that nothing I can dream up will even compare to the things God has in store for me. I pray for the courage to remain faithful and obedient when it seems most hopeless and that somehow the Lord will use my life to impact His Kingdom and eternity, and even now in the stillness I wouldn't be tempted by the things of this world that will remain in the dot, but would live for the line each and every moment.
Passion 2013 has been going on in Atlanta this week. I have caught as many sessions as I could through the live stream online. The first night, Louie Giglio, founder of the Passion movement, and Andy Stanley, founder of Northpoint Church in the Atlanta area, the 2nd largest church in America (I think), brought out on stage their youth director from middle and high school. This dear, faithful servant of the Lord is now almost 90 years old. She stands on the stage with a man who has inspired a generation for Jesus around the world and another man who has influence over and pastored one of the largest cities in the world, all because she was faithful. Those many years ago, she was simply faithful to use her gifts to disciple and encourage young people, in a stage of life most people just give up on. Can you even imagine the honor she feels that God used her simple act of faithfulness in such a profound way to impact thousands and thousands of people?? So encouraging and she had absolutely no idea at the time, and it's such a privilege she was even able to see that now!
Then, for years I have wanted to watch Schindler's List and have never gotten around to it. I got the DVD for Christmas, and after an awfully long week back at work, I settled down on my couch to watch it tonight. First off, WOW! Such an incredibly well done movie. So many things stuck out to me, but I will attempt to narrow them down. At the end of the movie, Oskar is presented with a ring forged by the Jews he saved that has etched in it "He who saves one life saves the world entire." This is profound in and of itself. But then, he completely breaks down sobbing that it wasn't enough. His car, his pin even, could have been another person. Earlier in the movie someone had asked, "What is a person worth to you?" So finally, after the heart and gut wrenching depiction of history, the screen fades from a shot of the over a thousand Jews he saved then to the ones who remain today. Approximately 1100 were saved, and their descendants now number over 6000. But we are numb to numbers, which is why as they showed the survivors, their faces, placing stones on Schindler's tombstone, I sobbed. The impact this one man had during arguably one of the bleakest periods of human history not only for those Jews but for generations to come. "He who saves one life saves the world entire."
To quote yet another cinematic epic (that I also have yet to see :), "What we do in life echoes in eternity." Christine Caine tweeted a few weeks ago that the only things in this world that are eternal are people's souls and the Word of God - invest in those things that are eternal. Pastor Tom always talked about our lives as a dot on the line of time, challenging, "Live for the line, not the dot." Live your life doing things that will echo into eternity, impacting generations to come and ultimately the Kingdom of Heaven.
Finally, I am reading a biography of Dr. Ernie Steury, a medical missionary to Kenya (Miracle at Tenwek). As he sits on the brink of his decision both to become a missionary and later a missionary doctor, he prays, "Lord, I don't know what you want me to do. But whatever you can do with my life, here it is!" I feel a little bit like Dr. Steury right now. Here I am, a physical therapist just out of school. For the first time since high school, life feels a bit like I'm standing still or just treading water. I am unsure of what the next step will be, but I do know that Dr. Steury's prayer is the same as my own, and that nothing I can dream up will even compare to the things God has in store for me. I pray for the courage to remain faithful and obedient when it seems most hopeless and that somehow the Lord will use my life to impact His Kingdom and eternity, and even now in the stillness I wouldn't be tempted by the things of this world that will remain in the dot, but would live for the line each and every moment.
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