Remembering

I was reading through an journal from before I applied to PT school.  Crazy how applicable it is now!


September 25th on a day trip to Greenville, NC to visit East Carolina University's PT Dept.
Fall has quickly set in, and with it comes a sense of nostalgia. As I drove down two lane roads between cottonfields and an occasional small town diner or bait shop, I couldn't help but feel at home and slightly homesick. Me, cruising by in my Jeep Grand Cherokee, sweater, slacks, and slipper shoes that couldn't withstand a puddle on the sidewalk, much less the muddy fields that whisked by my window. Despite all appearances, my heart yearned to pull over and run freely across the lush sea of grass and pine groves in some feable attempt to capture a piece of my childhood.
Arriving at ECUs DPT building, I get out of my car, ready to put my best foot forward and convince the world (and myself) that I can do anything, molding myself into the picture of business.
Just as I lock my door, I catch a glimpse of my reflection. I hardly recognize myself, and startled, I take a longer look. Where is that carefree little girl who dreamed big and truly believed anything is possible? Where is that free spirit that takes off across fields and leaps into lakes, rivers, and oceans with reckless abandon? A hardened, all business exterior gives just a tad, and I find her... a twinkle in my eye and then a joyful smile.
Amidst all the chaos, I can't lose track of who I am and who I want to be. I can't be what the world wants me to be, rather who God made me to be. That is why I am going to PT school... not for the lettes behind my name or to join in the rat race of getting ahead by impressing people and pushing a stone up a hill each day, but because that is where God is calling me, because I find joy in helping people like that, because I can use it internationally on missions, because living recklessly for the Kingdom is more fulfilling than anything this world can ever offer me, because I can stay joyfully childlike and not lose track of that twinkle in my eye.