He loves me!

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like God sets something up just for you.  Usually it is something really small that no one else would even notice or think of, but deep in your heart, in the core of your being, you feel God move in love towards you.
This morning at Hope was like that for me.  I love and treasure those moments so much, especially in the midst of recent life and emotional turmoil in which I have found myself.

A few weeks ago, I was reading through Matthew and came to Matthew 25:14-30 (included below).  It's the parable of the talents, where the master entrusts his servants with money while he is away.  When he comes back, he rewards those who have made more money and the one who buried the money, he casts into darkness. 

I have heard this parable before and heard it taught on before in various contexts, but it always puzzles me and quite honestly, frightens me.  What I saw in this parable seemed so out of sync with everything else I know about my Heavenly Father.  I remember thinking, "God, I really don't get this."

And then the past few weeks happened.  I have felt like such a failure in several aspects of life.  I feel not good enough in relationships, unworthy to be loved, and like I have somehow missed some giant fork in the road and am forever lost and alone on the path of life.

So this morning, we had a guest speaker at church, Kris.  The Spirit was moving as he came to his third and final point that came from this parable.  He said this parable is not about money, but opportunities.  My attention was grabbed as he said, "Many people read this parable and feel pressure that if you do not succeed, [God] will be mad at you."  If I miss an opportunity, that's it - I'm cast away, gone down this path never to return.  Someone else will pick up that opportunity, and I'm done.  Yep, that pretty much sums up what I had taken away from this passage.  But, that's not the case at all. 

He went on to say, when the servant says he knows the master is a harsh man, the master does not confirm this.  He says IF you thought this, you should have done this.  But in a sense, he tells him, "I'm not like that at all!"  Kris challenged us - do not doubt the love of the Father!  When He gives and takes away, it is for our good benefit, even when we look back at Him and say "but it's my life, it's my ____."  And every opportunity He gives us comes from an inexhaustible supply.  If we are to squander it, the source is endless and He loves us and will continue to give and take as He sees fit.  He shared a story of a college baseball player who suffered a C5 SCI in his first season.  He struggled through rehab and his dad watched one day as he struggled to wheel himself across campus to class.  The rest of the kids whirred past him on feet, skateboards, and bikes.  The father looked at his son and thought, "I am so proud of him."  In our deepest failure, even the smallest effort does not go unnoticed by God.  In our brokenness, God sees.  Like Hagar in the desert, El Roi - The God who sees me. 

When you understand that, it frees you.  You won't make the mistake of the 3rd servant because you understand who God is and your life as a new creation.  There is no pressure!  Yes, we will mess up, but God wants us to seize opportunities He gives because we know:  He loves me, He sees me, and even in my darkest moments, little steps of faith do not go unnoticed by the God who sees, the God who provides, and the God who is with me.

So that's it.  I love how a question I had weeks ago was directly answered, not only in explaining the parable in context for the sake of my confusion but also in God revealing more of Himself to me and loving me in a way that only made sense to me at this particular point in life.

 

Matthew 25:14-30 (ESV)
¹⁴ “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants^[c] and entrusted to them his property. ¹⁵ To one he gave five talents,^[d] to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. ¹⁶ He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. ¹⁷ So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. ¹⁸ But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. ¹⁹ Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ ²¹ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.^[e] You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ²² And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ ²³ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ²⁴ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, ²⁵ so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ ²⁶ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? ²⁷ Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. ²⁸ So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. ²⁹ For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. ³⁰ And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’