LCT: Where you should be!

My first post from Gainesville, FL. I'm officially 4-5 weeks into PT school with our first round of exams beginning this week.
It's been a whirlwind. I've learned so much. I went through and journaled out at one point everything I've learned in the past year. I hope to post it soon (as a series :), but for now just a reflection on being here.
Hard barely begins to describe this transition. There have been valleys where I have wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and cry over those of you I've left behind in SC, in Colorado, in North Carolina, and in Czech. I would plead with God in my heart... "why am I here?" I do love school and being back in school has been really neat, but making friends has been so hard and I long for the deep relationships I had over the past 5-6 years. I also just miss the purpose that God allowed me to live with over the past year... all of my being was spent pouring into other people through college ministry, youth ministry or in Czech. My life could easily be so consumed with ministry. Now, here I have this annoying distraction of school and studying. It's difficult to have such a sense of purpose and to find that here amidst being dilligent with studying (something that also honors God).
I read a Psalm the other day: Psalm 55:6-7 "And I say, 'Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness...' "
And, I laughed, because I totally identified with David and his statement there. But, he does go on to say, "In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Despite all my desire to flee, I know He's called me here and I have to trust Him and allow Him to grow my faith in those dark times when i look back on Czech, on Wilmington and wonder why I'm not still there.
I just finished Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret and he goes through a spell where he has to stay in England away from his mission in China, and he says this: "It is no small comfort to me to know that God has called me to my work, putting me where I am and as I am. I have not sought the position and I dare not leave it. He knows why He places me here - whether to do, or learn, or suffer. 'He that believeth shall not make haste.' That is no easy lesson for you or me; but I honestly think that ten years would be well spent, and we should have our full value for them, if we thoroughly learned it in them... Moses seems to have been taken aside for forty years to learn it... meanwhile, let us beware alike of the haste of the impatient, impetuous flesh, and of its disappointment and weariness."
Encouraging, yes, but he seems so sure of being called to be there... what about when I'm not sure I'm supposed to be here. Well, God had an answer for that too and met me in such a sweet way. I take the bus to school and one morning last week in the midst of processing through all of this, I walked out early to the bus stop and sat. I watched as traffic went by. A huge semi went by with a company logo I have never seen or heard of. It said 'LCT: Where you should be!' I kind of laughed and then jumped on the bus and went about my day. Later on though, it dawned on me. For those of you who don't know, LCT are my initials (Cameron is not my first name! :) so LCT (me) Where you should be! WOW! Pretty cool! But it was accompanied with a peace as well as some answered prayers in the relationship realm, just connecting and finding community in a church body here as well as an on campus group and more with roommates and classmates.
In addition, yesterday, one of our classmates was over and was really stressing out about the exams and seems to have anxiety issues. She went to a Christian school, and my roommate and I just got to sit down with her and encourage her with Scripture and love on her and serve her. As she walked out of our apartment, for the first time in Gainesville, I felt the "this is what i was made for" feeling come over me! God is so good!!!!
So this morning I went to church at Creekside. As of right now, it's where I'm sticking as far as church family goes. there have been some pretty challenging things going on, and I have been so encouraged by the leadership and hearing their vision for the church. I had a few hesitations about this church that have all been answered through this trial process in the church. But, this morning, they are going through Philippians. In chapter 1 Paul talks about rejoicing in his circumstances because of how he sees the gospel going forth. He's in jail facing death, but is rejoicing because the imperial guards have heard the gospel and it has reached places it would not have otherwise. Wow... Paul didn't see prison as a hindrance to his sharing of the gospel, but as his mission field. The pastor shared about his dad who shortly after being diagnosed with a brain tumor and given a month to live commenced to sharing the gospel with everyone on his hospital hall. He didn't see the brain tumor and being in the hospital as a hinderance to sharing the gospel, but as his mission field. Wow.
So often I look at Florida and my time here and think, "just 3 years... in 3 years I'll be out and can be unhindered in ministry, just gotta put in the work now and later i'll be free to do ministry again wherever I want" But clearly, this is not what God desires. I am called to love Him and love others no matter where I am at, and as Hudson Taylor explained, there is a purpose to my being here, a lesson to be learned (actually many I'm sure) and I dare not leave it until He sends me away. Yes, I do feel this is the path to my becoming a more effective tool for God's Kingdom (one of the reasons I'm not still in CZ or NC) but that becoming won't happen because of "DPT" at the end of my name in 3 years, but rather by continued obedience as I walk along here. I'm here and now for a reason and a purpose. Like James warns, I can't plan tomorrow because I'm certainly not promised my next breath, so run now, be patient and faithful now, only by His grace and His strength.