This is what I was made for!

In the first installment of my Nicaraguan adventure, I'd like to take it back a few blogs to a few weeks before my trip. As I pondered the trip, I got super excited about it and what God was going to do, but at the same time, I was a little afraid to be too excited... what if I was disappointed? HA!! One of the coolest things coming back from this trip, I realized, after a semester of ups and downs, many let downs and unmet expectations, my God does not disappoint! He does more than we can possibly think or imagine, and even if it does not turn out how we expect, it is better and for good.

As I pondered the trip a few weeks before and what we would be doing, I also wrote a blog on feeling that this is what I was made for. When I arrived in Managua, I was informed that I would not be just shuffled in with the med student rotations, I would in fact be practicing physical therapy! Needless to say, I freaked out a little bit, but the doctors were awesome. They would bring a patient to me, talk through what was going on and then let me take it from there (I even diagnosed a problem before the med students figured it out :) I had read 1 Corinthians 12-14 the week before we left and prayed that though I had no clue how I was gifted for this trip, that God would somehow use me in my utter and complete weakness to bring glory to His Name in the week ahead. As I interacted with patients, I almost felt like I was experiencing it in the 3rd person as God just moved and worked through me. The physical therapy was great, and I learned a lot and was incredibly humbled, but the most encouraging and incredible part about being in the clinic was seeing medicine and the gospel meet and work seamlessly together as modelled by Jesus himself, medicine, loving people opening doors to sharing the gospel, praying for and with people. Medicine unhindered by legal issues, public policy, and political correctness.

Every patient who came through our clinic went through an evangelism station first where the pastors would talk to them and find out if they were a believer. If they were, they would check that and when they came to us we would treat them and then talk to and encourage them and then pray with them. Many people were anxious about medical issues, or anxiety was one of their main complaints, and it was so sweet to just encourage them with Scripture and point them to the King of kings to take their burden away, and have them in tears hug and thank you after you said "Amen". No pill or exercise can accomplish that. If the patient was not a Christian, they would share the gospel with them and check if they accepted Christ or not. The just accepted were the coolest because we got to celebrate with them, to share Zephaniah 3:17 that God is rejoicing and dancing over them today, present them with a Bible of their own and disciple them through where to begin and what this decision, the biggest they will ever make and the one that solves life's biggest problem for them, means in their every day life. And then to see the peace and the joy light up their face. And finally, those that had not accepted, we simply asked what was stopping them, which opened up some really tough conversations and life stories, but it was good. We would encourage them but not pressure them with the hope and joy of eternity with Christ as well as the God of the Universe to walk through trials with here.

Once again, in all of these, I felt ridiculously inadequate, but God showed up. The last day of the trip our devotional book quoted Philippians 2:13 in the NLT: "God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him." I've read that and heard it a thousand times but have never experienced it like I did during this week in Nicaragua. All the trials and challenges of getting me to this point in my life were worth it for that feeling, that surrender and knowing God is working in and through you. The rest, I count as loss.

And, that is what I was made for. In between patients I had a chance to go around and shadow some of the other doctors. It so moved me to see them giving out pills one minute and talking through the particular problem, and then to turn around a second later and see them praying with the patient. To look into hopeless and hurting eyes that have seen a lifetime of pain and hurt, and be able to say that yes, these pills will only last for 30 days and we are leaving after this week, but there is hope! There is hope for eternity and there is peace and joy that surpasses all of these circumstances, and seeing medicine and PT be such an amazing gift and vessel for those conversations to take place.